Understanding Neurodivergence Part 3

Neurodivergence and grief

 

Not all neurodivergent people will experience all of the “normal” stages of grief (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance).

 

Neurodivergent people will experience grief in different ways or not in the “normal” stages order. 

 

Being neurodivergent can make it difficult to grieve because they may struggle to recognise others emotions or express their own feelings. This can make funerals a difficult environment for them.

 

Some neurodivergent people have trouble expressing grief. This does not mean they didn’t care about the person/animal. Many neurodivergent can get attached to people they don’t know in person like celebrities. 

 

Grieving can cause burnouts and shutdowns. 

 

It is common for neurodivergent people to use humour when dealing with grief. They are not laughing about it or cold. 

 

Different types of grief

 

There are many different types of grieving and everyone grieves in their own way. Here are some of the different types:

 

• Normal
• Anticipatory
• Complicated
• Chronic
• Delayed
• Distorted
• Cumulative
• Exaggerated
• Masked
• Secondary Loss
• Traumatic
• Collective
• Absent

 

How grief affects us

Grief can affect us in different ways (physically, behaviorally, emotionally, socially) all at once or one at a time.

 

Physical

• Feeling weak
• Lack of energy
• Loss of appetite
• Brain fog

 

Behaviour

• Forgetful
• Confusion

 

Emotional

• Anger
• Shock
• Relief
• Apathy
• Misplaced anger
• Mixed feelings
• Anxious
• Depressed
• Separation anxiety
• Feeling lost

 

Social

• Avoiding family
• Avoiding friends
• Withdrawn
• Increase substance abuse 

 

Tips on how to cope with grief

• Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions if that includes crying, screaming, yellow or writing.
• Practise self-care. Sleep well, eat, and avoid alcohol.
• Reach out for support. Online groups, charities, etc.
• Be aware of the stages of grief.
• Make a memory box.
• Talking about your loss. This can help with processing, and help to understand your emotions and feelings.
• Accept your feelings and don’t judge yourself for them.
• Give yourself time to heal and grieve. Don’t rush it.
• Reconnect with family and friends.
• Start a new hobby.
• Take up journalism.
• Seek medical support. This may be going on medication or going to see a counsellor
• Contact Cruse Bereavement Support– (UK)